Negativity causes devastation in our lives through words spoken to us or by us and sometimes we may not realize what we are saying can destroy a person’s self-image.

     When a child is berated or belittled, they never forget.  Maybe you can recall a time when a teacher, parent or friend, made a comment that hurt you deeply.  As do we all, children need affirmation and are vulnerable to words that demean or make them feel insecure about themselves.  Our children become what we affirmed most in their lives.  If you tell a child anything with negativity, they learn to believe they are neither worthy nor good enough.  When a parent has modeled low self-esteem and negativity, children learn to speak negatively about themselves and others. 

     As adults, we may compensate for some of our negative upbringing but it’s usually just under the facade we have created on the surface.  Even the most confident looking and acting person may think that down deep they are unworthy or unlovable.

     Putting others or ourselves down does not gain favor or sympathy; it only puts anyone hearing the comments in the awkward position of trying to defend you or the one you were putting down.

     People feeling insecure about themselves put others down because they may feel it builds them up.  Demeaning putdowns slowly kill the person you are constantly tearing down.  Anyone being negated on a regular basis eventually may start to believe they aren’t worthy of love or become incapable of getting away from the abusive person or functioning without them. 

     It sounds crazy, but don’t be deceived, the verbal abuse is often more permanently harmful than physical abuse.  Ask a woman who has lived in an abusive marriage.  I lived with an abusive husband for over two years.  I remember all the hurtful words that tore out my heart and left me wounded and crippled from the person who also said he loved me.  

     Simple words as ‘can’t you do anything right’ or ‘that was a stupid thing to do’ are humiliating and hurtful.  I, too, shamefully became this kind of abuser.

     As a negative person, I spouted negative statements about anything and every situation.  Nothing went right in my life, and with my words, I negated the people I loved and tore apart my life. 

     Thankfully, God has changed my life.  It now hurts me to hear people I care about speak negatively about themselves or to speak negativity into their own life. 

     God wants so much more for us.  I started speaking God’s words aloud everyday.  His power started flowing through His words into my life.  I began to trust God’s word and the power that it holds for those who believe and does not doubt.  I believed and said aloud; I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. ( Phil 4:13)NKJV   I am living and believing on Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. (Eph 3:20)NKJV    

     My family began noticing how my life was transforming from a self-defeating personality to a positive powerful tool in God’s hands.  I began speaking positive words about every situation, even in the trying and difficult times.  I became more encouraging to others around me.  I am transforming into the positive motivated person God wants me to be and I learned to take God at His word and believe in His faithfulness and who He is. 

     God showed me scripture after scripture of the power that is available to each one of us.  The power of belief is the key to all he has and wants for us.  Using God’s positive powerful words aloud was important to making them come alive in my life and change my negative world into a positive new journey. 

Copyright Karen Collett